Avoid These Thinking Traps to Stay Happy, Clean, and Sober
by┬аJoel Lewin
In CBT we say itтАЩs not outside events that cause our feelings and behaviours, but rather our thoughts about them; how we interpret those inputs.
We can change our thoughts and therefore we can change how we feel.
Often we think in unrealistic, illogical and unhelpful ways, thereby causing ourselves unnecessary distress.

There are a number of common thinking traps that people fall into. These are sometimes referred to as cognitive distortions.
In addiction, thinking becomes particularly distorted. These distortions donтАЩt just disappear when you get clean. But by learning to identify and┬аchallenge┬аthese thinking traps, you can avoid falling into them, thereby sparing yourself unnecessary pain, becoming more stable, happy and confident and sustaining long-term sobriety.
All-Or-Nothing Thinking
This is sometimes referred to as polarised thinking. It involves seeing the world in terms of extremes, placing things in black-and-white categories rather than viewing things on a continuum that leaves room for grey areas. It is a simplification of reality that overlooks the nuances. It can fuel anger and depression.
Example: Seeing people as either totally good or totally bad, with nothing in between.
Catastrophising
This is predicting the worst case scenario without considering other more likely scenarios. It is often a source of anxiety and depression.
Example: My partner is home a bit late from work so she must have had a car crash or she is cheating on me.
Example: If I take on that challenging task at work IтАЩm going to screw it up and end up getting fired.
тАжitтАЩs not outside events that cause our feelings and behaviours, but rather our thoughts about themтАж
Disqualifying the Positive
We find reasons to dismiss positive qualities, deeds or experiences.
Example: I only got the job because the interviewer was in a good mood.
Example: I only passed the test because I got lucky with the questions.
Example: He only said those nice things because he wanted to make me feel better.
On the other hand, bad things are perceived as evidence of fundamental personal flaws.
This thinking trap fuels low self-esteem and imposter syndrome. No matter how much success and potential evidence of your worth you accumulate, you dismiss it as insignificant.
Emotional Reasoning
You believe something must be true because you feel it and you dismiss any evidence to the contrary. In other words you use your emotional reaction to define reality.
Example: You wake up and you feel like itтАЩs going to be a bad day so you assume something bad is going to happen.
Example: You feel jealous and suspicious of your partner so you assume they have done something wrong.
Labelling
You take one action or characteristic and generalise it into a fixed global label, for yourself or another person. Then you project other characteristics that go with that label, even if they donтАЩt apply. You also neglect any evidence that goes against the label.
Example: I failed the test so IтАЩm a total failure
Example: He didnтАЩt come to my football match. HeтАЩs so selfish, he doesnтАЩt care about anyone but himself.
Magnification/Minimization:
You blow the negative aspects of a person or a situation out of proportion and minimise the positive aspects.
Example: Kevin stumbled over a few words in his speech and viewed it as a disaster, playing down the fact that the rest of it flowed smoothly and he received resounding applause.
Mental Filtering
You filter out all the positive information and focus only on the negative. This can fuel low self-esteem and depression.
Example: In your performance review at work your boss says you did nine things excellently and highlighted room for improvement in one area. You ignore the nine and focus on the one, berating yourself and feeling miserable.
Mind-Reading
You think you know what other people are thinking. Your predictions are typically far more negative than the reality.
Example: When you speak at an AA meeting you think: тАЬEveryone is thinking how stupid I sound and how I made no sense.тАЭ In reality most people probably canтАЩt even remember what you said.
Overgeneralising
You take one situation and make a sweeping generalisation that goes far beyond the evidence.
Example: You make one mistake and you say тАЬI always mess up everythingтАЭ
Example: Your brother forgets to call you one your birthday and you say, тАЬNobody cares about meтАЭ.
Personalising
You assume that peopleтАЩs behaviours and feelings are caused by you. This can drive anxiety, paranoia and anger.
Example: You walk into a room and see people laughing, so you assume they must be laughing at you.
Example: You see your partner is angry so you assume you must have done something wrong.
тАЬShouldтАЭ and тАЬMustтАЭ Statements
You have rigid expectations of how you should be, how others should be and how life should be. If these expectations are not met, which will inevitably happen at some point, you set yourself up for unnecessary distress.
CBT grandaddy Albert Ellis referred to this as тАЬmusturbationтАЭ.
Example: тАЬI must be perfect.тАЭ You set unrealistically high standards for yourself and put excruciating pressure on yourself to meet them all the time. When you donтАЩt meet them you berate yourself.
Example: тАЬPeople must be nice to me.тАЭ This would be great in an ideal world, but it wonтАЩt happen all the time. When you expect it, you set yourself up for pain and disappointment
Example: тАЬLife must be fair.тАЭ Again, this would be lovely in an ideal world, but itтАЩs just not possible all the time. By expecting it you set yourself up for conflict with reality.
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