The topic at a glance
- It is our ideas about how things тАШshould beтАЩ that makes life so difficult.
- If we argue with what is happening now, it puts us in state of anxiety and contracted thinking, and this makes it hard to deal appropriately with the situation.
- Life becomes effortless when we go with the flow rather than trying to force reality to fit our image of how it тАШshould beтАЩ.
The Way Things Should Be
It is our ideas about how things тАШshould beтАЩ that makes life so difficult.┬аThis puts us in a confrontational relationship with reality. It is a battle we can never win. The only way we can ever know true peace is by┬аletting go┬аof our ideas about how things should be тАУ or at the mystic┬аAnthony de Mello┬аonce described it,┬атАШabsolute cooperation with the inevitableтАЩ.
The thoughts тАШthat shouldnтАЩt have happenedтАЩ or тАШthat should have happenedтАЩ can make it impossible for us to find contentment. This would include beliefs such as тАШmy parents should have loved me moreтАЩ, тАШhe shouldnтАЩt have done that to meтАЩ, or тАШI should have been treated betterтАЩ. These thoughts lead to unnecessary suffering because┬аreality doesnтАЩt come with a rewind button┬атАУ what is done is done, and the only helpful question is┬атАШthis has happened, so what do I do nowтАЩ.
Another source of unnecessary pain is the idea тАШthis shouldnтАЩt be happeningтАЩ. If we argue with what is happening now, it puts us in state of anxiety and contracted thinking, and this makes it hard to deal appropriately with the situation.┬аWe canтАЩt change what is already here, and now is never going to change just because we donтАЩt approve of it, so we can save ourselves from useless suffering by┬аworking with reality.
Stop Barking at the Waves
It is common to see wild dogs on the beaches here in Thailand, and one of the things they like to do is bark at the waves тАУ IтАЩve seen┬аdogs do this┬аfor hours at a time. Barking obsessively at waves like this canтАЩt be good for a dogтАЩs throat, and it seems a bit pointless if you ask me (itтАЩs not like it is going to make the waves stop)тАУ yet it makes as much sense as our ideas of what should and shouldnтАЩt be happening.
Stop Fighting Reality and Find Peace
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. DonтАЩt resist them тАУ that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu
Life becomes effortless when we┬аgo with the flow┬аrather than trying to force reality to fit our image of how it тАШshould beтАЩ. This┬аact of surrender┬аis only authentic when we fully accept how hopeless our situation is тАУ┬аwe can never win a war against reality, and to continue with the fight is just too painful.┬аIt is not about accepting reality so we can get what we want but about accepting reality so we want what we get.
All conflicts in the world arise because we try to impose our idea of тАШhow things should beтАЩ on reality. It is a hopeless situation because the things we do in response to this rejection of reality (e.g. getting high, believing in fantasies, or arguing with others) ultimately just makes reality seem increasingly unsatisfying.┬аIt is unreasonable to expect reality to meet our criteria before we become willing to accept it┬атАУ when we do this, it means we are choosing to suffer.
Life is what it is.┬аBeing alive can be an absolutely wonderful experience, and it is only our ideas about how things тАШshould beтАЩ that prevents this.
Like this? Why not share it with your friends on social media?┬а
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