Grant's Recovery Story
by Grant McGeachie
"I was Living for Others - So I Didn't Have to Face Myself"
I felt desperate. I was 33 and alone with a bottle after having lived my entire life for others - never for myself. A chronic approval seeker and co-dependent you could say!
The only solution I knew to control my desperation was alcohol. I am an alcoholic. I tried in vein to control my drinking - I needed to do this almost from the first moment I picked up a drink. Alcohol calmed the anxiety and fear that I had been living with my whole life. I had come to believe that it helped me through difficult situations. Really, I just hadn’t found the courage to look within and find the true source of my problems.
During my twenties, depression really set in. I had spent more than a decade just existing. To the world I was always okay, always there to help anyone in need, always the friend to be relied on, always the best brother, and always a good son - but it was all a mask hiding an unrelenting pain.
"I’m an addict, extremely good at manipulation and lying"
In my head no one knew my struggles. I’m an addict, extremely good at manipulation and lying – to myself and others. It turned out this was a complete delusion. The only one I was fooling was myself. I had started to believe my own lies, but other people could see through me and they had started to worry.
I thought that I had hidden my secret very well. I would only drink alone, away from judgement and concern, slowly killing myself with alcohol and isolation. I saw this as the solution to my pain - it numbed me and momentarily calmed my obsessive thinking. For a short time there was peace.
The Cracks Begin to Show
Eventually my family began to worry. But they thought I would sort it out on my own - as I had always done. All my life I had been the rescuer, the problem solver, but now I needed rescuing and all those who loved me just didn’t know what to do. I knew I was hurting them but I had got to the stage where I just didn’t care.
"I had got to the stage where I just didn’t care"
The people that are most important to you become unwilling passengers on a deadly journey with your drug of choice. My parents had to deal with sleepless nights worrying if their son was going to come home. My twin brother would send me a text every night saying you can beat this and that he loved me. My younger brother ran an ultra marathon with a busted knee with me to help me break the shackles of addiction. I didn’t see any of this at the time, that’s the power of this disease.
I had to do something. I couldn’t deny the mess I was in any longer. It was then that I found Hope Rehab in Thailand.
I had been to rehab in Australia three months before I found Hope in Thailand but it just did not compare. Also I wasn’t ready to admit I was powerless over alcohol. I went there for my family and not for myself. This rehab didn’t really take you through the steps of AA/NA, it only looked at my powerlessness over alcohol and the unmanageability of my life. In effect, this was like breaking you down, leaving you depressed and vulnerable, and then sending you back out into the big bad world. I was not ready or equipped to return to my life and relapsed soon after.
Hope Rehab was very different. They focused on three core areas:
Body – physical exercise and activity
Mind – mindfulness and mediation as well as group and one-on-one counselling and CBT.
Soul – helping to find a spiritual connection and facing your character defects – using the 12 Steps.
How the Original Boot Camp Got Me Ready for Recovery
My earlier experiences at the Original Boot Camp ran by Sargent McGeachie is also one of the reasons together with Hope Rehab, that I am so passionate about fitness in recovery today.
I was depressed, struggling with addiction and had little to no self-esteem.
knowing I had to give life a real shake as it was slowly slipping through my fingers.
A few people that had been members of this and gave it nothing but praise, and I had seen them really transform not only physically but mentally.
Clearly I need to give something a go, and I knew I would be surrounded by some incredibly strong people given the reputation of Original Boot camp.
With nothing to lose I decided I would give it a go – much to my surprise there were people from all ages there ranging from 18-60 years of age.
I was riddled with anxiety and no longer comfortable in my own skin I at the start. I had played rugby league at a decent level, so I knew what it was like to work hard but this was different. It is a REAL bootcamp in every sense of the word. The lead trainer and owner for the global organization is ex SAS soldier, so I will let your imagination do the rest. The program not only gets you into shape fast it also:
- Attacks the very core of Depression and Anxiety and takes you completely out of your comfort zone.
- It gets you out of your comfort zoneComfort zone is the enemy of anyone that is going through addiction or a hard time. (It gets you out of your head and in to your body)
- Helps you develop the mindset of a warrior. The People this bootcamp attracts are just pure fighters and were the people I needed to be around..
Your typical session you can expect to be pushed to your limit for 40mins. It’s not for the faint hearted but those who stick around change their lives forever. It creates an attitude in you that you can achieve anything and nothing will beat you.
This journey with OBC led me to a ultra-marathon, 75km over a series of mountains, as part of Australia’s toughest Ultra marathon.
This Race alone – 17 hours of continues running straight up and down helped me break the shackles of my addiction (alcohol), as I knew if I could finish this race NOTHING could beat me.
I did this with fellow recruits and the owner and lead instructor for the Dee why and Mona vale northern beaches platoons.
These guys shook me out of the biggest challenge life had ever thrown at me Addiction.
I am forever grateful for the OBC family and recruits and you know who you are.
Now My Past is Helping Me Build a Better Future
Today I am in Thailand working with recovering addicts running the same sessions that OBC has to offer - the ones that restored me to happiness, self-worth, and most importantly restored my belief in myself.
I found my purpose in life as a Sober and fitness coach at Hope Rehab and I owe in part to Sargent McGeachie who does not only preach this stuff – he lives it!!!
So get out of your comfort zone – You will never look back again..